When You Don’t Get The Gig: Dealing With Disappointment

Many parts of being a musician have many aspects that have nothing to do with music at all. Aside from the hustle and bustle of trying to not only survive but also be successful in the music industry, you still have the rest of the aspects of your life to handle. How can we stay happy and in control of ourselves along the way?When_You_Dont_Get_The_Gig-_Dealing_With_Disappointment_PitStop.jpg

Positivity isn’t exactly easy. It’s one of those things that seems simple when the going is good, but when it gets tough - the sunshine feels like the farthest thing away. It’s amazingly strange how your perspective and mood can truly change the way you filter your entire environment and the world around you. This is why it’s so very important to be conscious of your feelings when you begin your day, before your lifestyle, personal and working habits alter your natural state of peace. 

Healthline states “Challenging situations and obstacles are a part of life. When you’re faced with one, focus on the good things no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they seem. If you look for it, you can always find the proverbial silver lining in every cloud — even if it’s not immediately obvious. For example, if someone cancels plans, focus on how it frees up time for you to catch up on a TV show or other activity you enjoy. Negativity and positivity have been shown to be contagious. Consider the people with whom you’re spending time. Have you noticed how someone in a bad mood can bring down almost everyone in a room? A positive person has the opposite effect on others.”

It’s crucial to recognize what perks you up and helps you get out of that funk and up from underneath those occasional dark clouds. Perhaps it’s a must that you take a walk or two around the block and give yourself twenty minutes of just “feeling” your reaction before reacting to it. Maybe you need to take a few breaks from the internet, refreshing your email or promise yourself to stop working after you hit your ten hour mark. Giving your brain a break is just as important as boosting its knowledge. 

After you’re able to get all of those positive vibes identified and under your belt, it’s now time to do the heavy emotional lifting and recognize what your triggers to negativity are. Have you ever noticed how a baby is so happy and jolly and then, when it finally succumbs to being tired or hungry, they will all of a sudden take a turn for the worst? Consider the fact that your bad and disappointing days may have been building up for a long time. There may have been many tiny negative aspects that finally combined with full blown exhaustion and built themselves into one gigantic mental storm. 

Now, when it comes to music specific disappointment, like getting turned down for a gig or a label returning your demo - this is a little bit of a different story. When it comes to creativity - it’s so incredibly subjective and you’re never going to be completely understood and praised by everybody. During some days and some chapters in life, you have to take into consideration that you may be intersecting someone else’s journey with a completely different place that you’re in. If you’ve lived long enough, you’ll typically realize that “rejection is protection”. Oftentimes we want many things only to find out in the future that we were spared for something that much better and more fitting for us. Did you get discouraged by your dream label saying “no thank you”? Don’t give up and keep developing yourself. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel to find yourself in a place where you really belong. 

Trust the process, be sincere in your intention and do what feels right. Follow your bliss and you just may end up living your dreams in your waking state.